Fallen Ray

act immediately.

A year ago, I held a party at my apartment. We cook and eat together. The atmosphere is cool, I really like it. Soon it became bit boring though. *Bang* One good friend of mine brings a “jenga” to my place, and cool atmosphere came back again.

What the heck i jenga? Yea, I thought jenga is a kind of dance. Or some kind of weird primal word … Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!

Jenga tower is a game, my friend explained… We have a bunch of small blocks. At the beginning, those blocks were arranged into a solid tower. Then, as the game goes, we pick a block from middle of this tower and put it on top. The tower becomes less rigid as it grows taller.

There’re some insignificant rules that I will skip here. If you really are interested in, just search it around the web or buy the actual game.

Ok, so basically one person picks a block and put it on top. Next turn, another person does exactly the same thing. We do this repeatedly until the tower cannot reach its maximum height or crumbling down
And, we can play this game alone or together with friends.

This game is for kids, I thought so back then.

Lately I understand that this jenga tower game has deeper meaning. Especially for me.

Looking years back, this game kind of remind me of the life I have run through. I work so hard to build a strong foundation.

Within this foundation, I slowly pick what I already have. Put it on top, over and over; So that I can reach higher places.

Taking risks or even gambling from anything I had before, just to make the tower higher.

Two years ago, the highest jenga tower that I’ve been building for ten years or more, is crumbling in front of my face.

It’s the saddest thing in my life, ever. I can’t even tell about this to anyone.

Then, one great opportunity came. I drove myself from this depressing life.

I took a break from my life and my dream. It is almost two years already. I’m living a “different” life. It has been peaceful yet so frustrating.

Some lessons that I’ve learnt. Jenga tower will easily break if our past actions are too hasty. Taking the block from middle and putting on top, has to be done carefully. Careful doesn’t necessarily slow. It should be fast but with enough calculation. So that after each action, the tower would still stands strong.

Second lesson is “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish”. It’s true. Seeing this tower becoming higher and higher, is so fascinating. Like a wind mill within our heart which every rotation of its turbine generates wind that makes our whole body and mind excited. It’s so addictive. I can feel it every time I take each and every next action.

But then … Living a peaceful live for almost two years, makes me realize that this kind of feeling of getting excited and thrilled is not for everyone. The higher our tower is, the louder it sounds when it breaks. Some people would feel faint on their heart, and simply give up. They would give up building a higher one with a risk of breaking what they have done. And, they would just enjoy what they have for the remaining time of their life.

I have decided that I won’t join this group. I believe that must keep advancing, for whatever it takes. Keep going for myself; and for everyone who have helped me; or even being sacrificed in order to reach my goal.

For everyone and everything I left in the past years, I promise … that I will make a brand new jenga tower that higher than anything, for couple of years to come. I’m prepared to risk anything and everything. This is my new year’s 2009 resolution. Thanks for becoming a part of my life.

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Oh, by the way… before you go, watch this Jenga World Record Disaster. Is it real or fake? You decide.

without losing humanity.

or leave it unused, dried hung up and goes rotten?

Stop making it shorter.

Me

I join cloaking membership site recently. I figured out that i need dedicated server to execute my plan. Not sure if it’s gonna make me cash or not. I surely thought it would be much better for my head and for my wallet … if i can get an affordable, okay, cheap, okay once again, CHEAP dedicated server web hosting.

I look around. My first choice is ayksolutions.com. They run a very nice deals. 53Ghz Core2Due with 4gb ram, blablaba for less than $150. That’s fucking cheap. I run as fast as i can to compose a mail to their support. Within few hours i got a reply. Nice pre-sales support, i like it. I checked out what he said. He said that he would need 5 more people to buy that batch so that price can come effective. Sucks, i need to wait. I tell him okay, put me in the waiting list.

After couple of days, which is yesterday, i got a new mail from them. The server can not be ordered, for whatever reason. I’m quite disappointed here. Their in-stock servers were just out of budget for me. Fine though, i’m looking for others.

I buzz up a new friend i met from forum. He’s cool and nice person. We chat around 3-5 hours or so. He would introduce me to the guy he bought his server from. Nice person, wasn’t he.

While waiting, i checkup webhostingtalk forum. I saw lots of pretty nice offers. My eyes instantly lands on an offer from joe’s data center. It’s very very attractive. AMD Phenom 9650 AMD Phenom 9650 Quad Core, 4GB RAM, blablabla. Wait, i talk to my self, this package includes half bandwith than ayk, but much more powerful machine. I don’t use much bandwith, so that’s cool. What is the price??? … $99.98 per month. Shit! This is fucking fuck cheap. I immediately send a mail to Joe. Got reply within minutes. Wow, that’s damn fast. Wait wait, i need to cool myself.

I haven’t deal with hardware lately. So i need to educate myself. I opened up 5 or more thread. Read them until my head spinning. Compared specs and prices. I read over and over. Trying each of their order form and see what’s there. I spend around one hour just for doing this. Result is NONE. No offers even come close to Joe’s. None, nada, nill, nul, zero.

I confidently put my order this morning. Paid $128 (1st month + 10 days for something-period). He said my server will be ready in 24-48 hours. That’s acceptable, i think. BUT… but he, Joe, was lying. That’s totally a big huge lie. Joe, you shouldn’t promises what you can’t keep. He lies lies lies.

I got a notification from him 8 hours after i placed my order. Less than 24 hours. That was frickin awesome!!! My job wasn’t done yet, and here come my brand new server. Shit. I immediately stop my work and start installing things.

Soon, I got problem another on my IPs. I asked Joe. Always, reply came within minutes. My God! I’m starting to think that i’m his only customer. That’s it, i got no complain just bunch of compliments here. Now, if you need cheap dedicated server web hosting. Just ask me. I’ll help you.

Hey, i know you’ve at least heard that our brain can be divided into two big chunk, and sold for cheap. Uh … i mean, two big chunk left and right. I found this articles from 2 years ago on how to do left brain right brain test.

I spill out a bit about how our brain function, based on it’s location. I didn’t found this, just read it from somewhere else. So you gotta believe me.

First LEFT brain, its main function is LOGIC. If A equals B and B equals C then A equals C. Something like that is logic. You’re “trying” to connect the dots. People who like to use their LEFT brain have these characteristics: detail oriented, facts rule, words and language, present and past, math and science, can comprehend, knowing, acknowledges, order/pattern, perception, knows object name, reality based, forms strategies, practical, safe.

RIGHT brain is all about FEELING and IMAGINATION. I always woke up 5 am in the morning because i feel refreshed, is an example of using right brain. If i woke up because i aware that i have to start working soon, because of this and that. Then i use my left brain. Simple, right? People who uses their RIGHT brain said to have this characteristics: uses feeling, “big picture” oriented, imagination rules, symbols and images, present and future, philosophy & religion, can “get it” (i.e. meaning), believes, appreciates, spatial perception, knows object function, fantasy based, presents possibilities, impetuous, risk taking.

After you know this … now you realize it, right? Back then when you always got bad marks. It’s not because your brain is malfunctioning. It’s just because you are using your right brain too much. Imagining your self getting good mark without studying. Stupid!

I have to confess, i use both my left and right in balance. That’s why a lot of people are so jealous of me. Most people simply can not. You’re one of them. Admit it. Here’s a test you can use to prove that i’m right.

See this image below. Is it turning clockwise or anti-clockwise…

Left Brain Right Brain Test

If clockwise, then you use more of your right brain, your logic.
Most people see it the dancer turning anti-clockwise. People use logic more often.
Do you see anti-clockwise? Then most of times you use your left brain, feeling.
Congrats, you’re a rare species.

Tiny amount of people can actually try to focus and change the direction. Can you?

Original article about this left brain right brain test is taken from AAP.

Just trying this stuff

so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Steve Jobs. CEO, Apple and Pixar Animation

Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

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Over And Over Again And Expecting Different Results.

Albert Einstein

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