Fallen Ray

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me that singing and creating a song is two totally different matters.
Even if you could sing a song or play a music sheet thousand times perfectly,
it doesn’t guarantee that you could make your own music.

You need what so called creativity factor.
It was something you’re born with…
and so on, we caught in a deep debate of theory of creativity.
He’s an artist anyway.

I whole heartily disagree. It sounds too pessimistic.
What if you’re born without creativity?
Could we learn it? or couldn’t we?

I have my own theory of creativity,
which i hold dear for a long time.
It has been proven to be true throughout my life.

Let say when i start learning how to write.
I started with imitating alphabet “a” from textbook.
As expected, my first effort was a total mess.
Even my parents recognized it as a snake,
not nearly close to an “a”.

After several trials, i can perfectly draw an “a”.
Event though all of the “a” i write are not exactly the same,
I don’t feel disheartened.

That’s the beauty of human creation.
We’re perfect because we’re imperfect.
It’s what i always believe anyway.

What i want to say is, i can write now.
Well obviously, otherwise i wouldn’t graduate from primary school.

After i wrote those alphabets thousand to billion times.
Can i design my own alphabet now?
Yes, of course.

Look at the caterpillar.

It eats the very same leaves every day.
Doing the same thing,
crawling and eating.
Moving its jaw up and down (does caterpillar has jaw?)
Eat and eat for half of its life.

Then one day, without really realizing it,
it miraculously morphed into butterfly.
Flies toward the beautiful sky.

When it was a caterpillar, does it even think like this?
“I will stuff my stomach with all of this fluffy green stuff,
as much as i can see, so that i can fly one day.”

NO!

If you have time to think whether you would have that creativity one day,
it would be thousand times better to just do the routine of work you’re good at.

Someday, you WILL get that creativity.

If you swim everyday, would you become better at swimming?
Yes.
If you imitate others’ works every day, would you be the best imitators?
Yes and not only as an imitators.
You’ll find yourself as creator with creative skill.

Every single thing that you have done,
are built up and become a part of you.

Do the same thing over and over,
until something ring out of your head…
One day, when you say,
“Hey it’s would looks better if i add this here”.
I guarantee that what you did at this moment
is a genuine product of your creative work.

Creativity is either an imitation of existing being or just a dumb luck.

Don’t be afraid to imitate.
But don’t forget to stand firm,
and be your best self.

To stand firm means to know what you want.
To imitate means to know how to get it.

Art is a product of creativity.
Coding is an art.
I’m an amazing coder.
… what a shameless plug.

See ya.

A year ago, I held a party at my apartment. We cook and eat together. The atmosphere is cool, I really like it. Soon it became bit boring though. *Bang* One good friend of mine brings a “jenga” to my place, and cool atmosphere came back again.

What the heck i jenga? Yea, I thought jenga is a kind of dance. Or some kind of weird primal word … Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!

Jenga tower is a game, my friend explained… We have a bunch of small blocks. At the beginning, those blocks were arranged into a solid tower. Then, as the game goes, we pick a block from middle of this tower and put it on top. The tower becomes less rigid as it grows taller.

There’re some insignificant rules that I will skip here. If you really are interested in, just search it around the web or buy the actual game.

Ok, so basically one person picks a block and put it on top. Next turn, another person does exactly the same thing. We do this repeatedly until the tower cannot reach its maximum height or crumbling down
And, we can play this game alone or together with friends.

This game is for kids, I thought so back then.

Lately I understand that this jenga tower game has deeper meaning. Especially for me.

Looking years back, this game kind of remind me of the life I have run through. I work so hard to build a strong foundation.

Within this foundation, I slowly pick what I already have. Put it on top, over and over; So that I can reach higher places.

Taking risks or even gambling from anything I had before, just to make the tower higher.

Two years ago, the highest jenga tower that I’ve been building for ten years or more, is crumbling in front of my face.

It’s the saddest thing in my life, ever. I can’t even tell about this to anyone.

Then, one great opportunity came. I drove myself from this depressing life.

I took a break from my life and my dream. It is almost two years already. I’m living a “different” life. It has been peaceful yet so frustrating.

Some lessons that I’ve learnt. Jenga tower will easily break if our past actions are too hasty. Taking the block from middle and putting on top, has to be done carefully. Careful doesn’t necessarily slow. It should be fast but with enough calculation. So that after each action, the tower would still stands strong.

Second lesson is “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish”. It’s true. Seeing this tower becoming higher and higher, is so fascinating. Like a wind mill within our heart which every rotation of its turbine generates wind that makes our whole body and mind excited. It’s so addictive. I can feel it every time I take each and every next action.

But then … Living a peaceful live for almost two years, makes me realize that this kind of feeling of getting excited and thrilled is not for everyone. The higher our tower is, the louder it sounds when it breaks. Some people would feel faint on their heart, and simply give up. They would give up building a higher one with a risk of breaking what they have done. And, they would just enjoy what they have for the remaining time of their life.

I have decided that I won’t join this group. I believe that must keep advancing, for whatever it takes. Keep going for myself; and for everyone who have helped me; or even being sacrificed in order to reach my goal.

For everyone and everything I left in the past years, I promise … that I will make a brand new jenga tower that higher than anything, for couple of years to come. I’m prepared to risk anything and everything. This is my new year’s 2009 resolution. Thanks for becoming a part of my life.

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Oh, by the way… before you go, watch this Jenga World Record Disaster. Is it real or fake? You decide.

Hey, i know you’ve at least heard that our brain can be divided into two big chunk, and sold for cheap. Uh … i mean, two big chunk left and right. I found this articles from 2 years ago on how to do left brain right brain test.

I spill out a bit about how our brain function, based on it’s location. I didn’t found this, just read it from somewhere else. So you gotta believe me.

First LEFT brain, its main function is LOGIC. If A equals B and B equals C then A equals C. Something like that is logic. You’re “trying” to connect the dots. People who like to use their LEFT brain have these characteristics: detail oriented, facts rule, words and language, present and past, math and science, can comprehend, knowing, acknowledges, order/pattern, perception, knows object name, reality based, forms strategies, practical, safe.

RIGHT brain is all about FEELING and IMAGINATION. I always woke up 5 am in the morning because i feel refreshed, is an example of using right brain. If i woke up because i aware that i have to start working soon, because of this and that. Then i use my left brain. Simple, right? People who uses their RIGHT brain said to have this characteristics: uses feeling, “big picture” oriented, imagination rules, symbols and images, present and future, philosophy & religion, can “get it” (i.e. meaning), believes, appreciates, spatial perception, knows object function, fantasy based, presents possibilities, impetuous, risk taking.

After you know this … now you realize it, right? Back then when you always got bad marks. It’s not because your brain is malfunctioning. It’s just because you are using your right brain too much. Imagining your self getting good mark without studying. Stupid!

I have to confess, i use both my left and right in balance. That’s why a lot of people are so jealous of me. Most people simply can not. You’re one of them. Admit it. Here’s a test you can use to prove that i’m right.

See this image below. Is it turning clockwise or anti-clockwise…

Left Brain Right Brain Test

If clockwise, then you use more of your right brain, your logic.
Most people see it the dancer turning anti-clockwise. People use logic more often.
Do you see anti-clockwise? Then most of times you use your left brain, feeling.
Congrats, you’re a rare species.

Tiny amount of people can actually try to focus and change the direction. Can you?

Original article about this left brain right brain test is taken from AAP.

Once, i heard from my senior that life is full of chances and options. I feel this sentence to be true, more and more. In my life, it’s like walking a path, can be simplified as RPG games. If we have this and that item, a new path will open. Just like that.

These paths, we can pick one and lead our life. We can also let our life flow with “others’ will” and let outer force decide where we will be.
We can make our own intersection and choose direction on our own. Or wait until time propose new paths and pending decisions until the last minutes.
Offensive or defensive.
No matter which one we choose, we must at least aware of this.

Leading, in a dark tunnel, we walk in very front of others. Our body and mind, prepared or not, meet a lot of surprise, can be a good events or bad ones.
Flowing, is letting outer force take control. Walking inside middle part till the end of queue. Everybody’s back is blocking our sight. It feels comfortable. We assume that if something happen, people in front of us will “die” first. Yet, when that time comes we “die” without knowing.

Leading and flowing always happen in our intersection of life. A point when we need to decide. It is something that we can decide. At most case, which path will you take?

So, once upon a time, today. I’m watching a coaching video. The coach, is handsome, err, i mean referring some strangely interesting name to me. “Triumph, the Insult Dog”. So i quickly grab my firefox and googling it.

I know, you’re too lazy to do that. So, here is the brief explanation about what kind of dog he is. NO NO NO ~!, DONT click that link. Ok, stay with me. I will continue my story. Ok, calm down. Ok, good.

Ever heard “Star wars”? U huh, that one. If you’re one hardcore fan of it, you must see this one. If you’re not, you have to see it even more. It shows an interview on star-war-geeks in an, uh i dunno, some kind of event. Yeah must be some kind of events being held. Otherwise we won’t see group of star war fans dragging their ass together on the street, right.

The unusual thing in this interview is … First the interviewer is a dog. That dog i’m talking about in the first paragraph. And the second … Well, this is a very super duper f*king super very funny. Or at least it supposed to. What i mean is, it supposed to offense the fans. Lots of offense, and it should not funny. This dog is making fun of them. And yes i laugh my ass off, ow sorry no offense -_-v

“He can crap his pants and no one will knows”
“It’s called reality my friend”
“You can choose from all of the, all kind of guys who have no idea how to please you”
“How you explain this to your imaginary girlfriend”
“Wow, that’s the last time he’ll ever see female genitalia”
….. rofl rofl rofl

Ok see for your self,

And here comes the second part…
“So this is to help u breath?
So which of these buttons calls your parents to pick u up?”
“What substance was Han Solo frozen in?
The correct answer is who gives SHIT.”

Start your days with laugh.
Laughing at others is ok too -_-v
And sorry for hardcore star war fans out there. I mean it … well not really.

Before i go, here is a peace-tribute…
Encounter of our super hero, Triumph, and Jennifer Lopez ;)~
“J-Lo,
J-Lo,
please J-Lo please let me sniff your butt!
COMMEON!
…
J-Lo, I don’t get it J-Lo.
She doesn’t understand,
for a dog it’s like climbing Mount Everest.”

Here’s your portion and go over that corner!

This is a story from couple years ago. Most of my friends looking for job straight couple of months before graduating. While, i, enjoy my life as one of founder of my own company. At this point of my life, people around with same ages with me are looking for a new destination in their life. We’re talking about a job here, one thing that can support their independence.

I try to summarize from my experience. There’s five options:
1. Talking the ideal, is to get into the biggest, famous, multi-national company. This promise a very good stability in our life. We apply to many companies. Passing many selections and interviews. Eventually, through our luck and hardworks, we join one company as trainee. Depend on skill and dumb luck, this can take a month or 2-3 couple years. After that life as workers start slowly, training took time. Promotion took time. Slow but sure. We also got social status as bonus.
2. Working for small company can also be a dream. For those who have skill and free will and want to contribute much. Or the opposite, those who think that working is not the biggest deal in their life and easy going and not much but enough.
3. Grasshoppers is what most people do. First, get into whichever company that accept them. Work for couple of month, then move to a better company. Over and over building porfolio and experince. Then, finally have their dream job. Starting is not easy as we need to bluff/fake on those small company. Stating “I’m interested to this company because xxx, and i want to work as permanent employee in long term. I dedicate my … blablabla”, which your heart totally decline it inside. This reflect the combination between reality and dream, and grasshopper is the best symbol i could think.
4. Freelance. I started doing this from second year of my undergrads. Everything is unstable here. This path is twilight zone between working for others (1,2,3) and working for ourselves or even making others work for us (5).
5. Your own company. I can’t say much about this, since i’m still on the way. Much inexperience. One thing i can say, is stability will be the last thing you ever want. You and your company want to make “changes”, even inside a stable society. So, deep inside we not only “have to be ready”, but we mush prepare and perform change as drastic as possible.

These five common options is all about preference.
What we want to reach in your life.
Determine our goal.
What we want to do for us, for people around us.
Prioritize it.
Then all things will make sense.
Good luck.

I check wordpress.org site after a while. My eye stumbled upon 2.6.5, in bold red button. I say, yippie, calmly. I hit up my Filezilla Client, struggling a bit, overwrite files here and there, struggling more. One hour, two hour, three hour passes. Ok done…
That’s what i thought. I hit my firefox, in urge to see my handsome blog become billion times handsomer.

But…
WTF, nothing shows
…
i hit F5 … nothing change
i press refresh … still nothing
…
no post
…
WTF (again)

Since i’m a calculative and forward thinking person, of course i had backup. But you know, i’m just, you see, not very comfortable with repetitive task, as i am challenging person. Know what i mean. So i forgot where to put it. You know, lot’s of things happen every day and we don’t have to remember every thing, right?

So,
so,
Tadaaa, here is the new face of my blog. With less, lot less, posts.
Ok, here is the wisdom.

Even if you fail, after all hardworks which has been done.
You’ll always get something something new in your life.

I fail the upgrade, but i got a cleaner blog now.
This comfort all my hard works even though it fail.
Remember this,
STAY POSITIVE…
Ok,
Gotta hit my head on the wall.
Later.

Not everyone as fortunate as us. Living an easy and peacefull life. Be able to do anything we want, anything we like. Sitting in front of computer, working, learning, playing with virtually no worries. While most of our brothers and sisters out there must work hard just to survive.

Peace lead to boredom. “Oh, no i’m almost late”. Everyone must’ve said that in our life. But, don’t let it become our habit. Don’t let the time rules us.

Plan your activities for within the years, monthly, daily, hourly, and even every minutes. From the slightest unimportant to the top priority ones.

It’s an undeniable fact that we’re a lot more fortunate than most others. Let’s make every seconds of ou life count. Live as if it were our last day. Live our life to the fullest. RULE THE TIME. Are you prepared to carry the burden?

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