Fallen Ray

A year ago, I held a party at my apartment. We cook and eat together. The atmosphere is cool, I really like it. Soon it became bit boring though. *Bang* One good friend of mine brings a “jenga” to my place, and cool atmosphere came back again.

What the heck i jenga? Yea, I thought jenga is a kind of dance. Or some kind of weird primal word … Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!

Jenga tower is a game, my friend explained… We have a bunch of small blocks. At the beginning, those blocks were arranged into a solid tower. Then, as the game goes, we pick a block from middle of this tower and put it on top. The tower becomes less rigid as it grows taller.

There’re some insignificant rules that I will skip here. If you really are interested in, just search it around the web or buy the actual game.

Ok, so basically one person picks a block and put it on top. Next turn, another person does exactly the same thing. We do this repeatedly until the tower cannot reach its maximum height or crumbling down
And, we can play this game alone or together with friends.

This game is for kids, I thought so back then.

Lately I understand that this jenga tower game has deeper meaning. Especially for me.

Looking years back, this game kind of remind me of the life I have run through. I work so hard to build a strong foundation.

Within this foundation, I slowly pick what I already have. Put it on top, over and over; So that I can reach higher places.

Taking risks or even gambling from anything I had before, just to make the tower higher.

Two years ago, the highest jenga tower that I’ve been building for ten years or more, is crumbling in front of my face.

It’s the saddest thing in my life, ever. I can’t even tell about this to anyone.

Then, one great opportunity came. I drove myself from this depressing life.

I took a break from my life and my dream. It is almost two years already. I’m living a “different” life. It has been peaceful yet so frustrating.

Some lessons that I’ve learnt. Jenga tower will easily break if our past actions are too hasty. Taking the block from middle and putting on top, has to be done carefully. Careful doesn’t necessarily slow. It should be fast but with enough calculation. So that after each action, the tower would still stands strong.

Second lesson is “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish”. It’s true. Seeing this tower becoming higher and higher, is so fascinating. Like a wind mill within our heart which every rotation of its turbine generates wind that makes our whole body and mind excited. It’s so addictive. I can feel it every time I take each and every next action.

But then … Living a peaceful live for almost two years, makes me realize that this kind of feeling of getting excited and thrilled is not for everyone. The higher our tower is, the louder it sounds when it breaks. Some people would feel faint on their heart, and simply give up. They would give up building a higher one with a risk of breaking what they have done. And, they would just enjoy what they have for the remaining time of their life.

I have decided that I won’t join this group. I believe that must keep advancing, for whatever it takes. Keep going for myself; and for everyone who have helped me; or even being sacrificed in order to reach my goal.

For everyone and everything I left in the past years, I promise … that I will make a brand new jenga tower that higher than anything, for couple of years to come. I’m prepared to risk anything and everything. This is my new year’s 2009 resolution. Thanks for becoming a part of my life.

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Oh, by the way… before you go, watch this Jenga World Record Disaster. Is it real or fake? You decide.